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Michael
"(Michael noises as he stabs Dylan and becomes omnipotent)" ~ Michael as he defeats Dylan in twenty burps. Michael is the main antagonist after the Dylan Arc of The Joseph Saga, and becomes the true antagonist. Appearance Michael was originally an aspect of Dylan that became sapient, and originally appeared as a small distorted Funky Kong. As he gained more power and became more Jewish, he disguised himself as a chunky Jewish man who knows kung-fu or some shit. After stealing the password to Dylan's Netflix account and becoming God, Michael becomes to leader of the bunch, you know him well. He's a monky lol Personality Michael is a concept, and cannot be described as someone with a personality when he is in his most omnipotent forms. He's like a penny—fucking useless and a pain in my Magnetic ass. I wanted to work on my prologue but noooo I have to write about this smelly cuntmonkey for ten minutes. Michael upon his creation had no personality, and could only be satiated by Jewish apparel and pennies. As he grew stronger, he developed and outer shell that allows him to interact with the mortal world. True Michael is a cool dude, but is destined to be replaced with Perfect Michael. Perfect Michael is a cunt. History Michael was originally an aspect of Dylan back when he was constipated in a Panda Express's bathroom for three hours. He was so bored that he created an alternate persona to speak with. This persona became so infuriating that Dylan cast it out in a fit of rage. That persona was Michael. Michael eventually met his sister, Mercy, and killed their father, Sunwoo. Mercy defeated Michael by using paper money, causing him to fade into the abyss forever... Fuck I wish lmao He eventually learned everything there was about Dungeons and Dragons in order to guess Dylan's password. He turned Dylan mortal because Dylan wasn't Jewish, and began closing KFCs across the '''WORLD, '''instead of just Maine. Powers and Abilities Intro He-he-here we go! So they're finally here, performing for you If you know the words, you can join in too Put your hands together, if you want to clap As we take you through this monkey rap! Huh! Chorus DK Donkey Kong! 1 He's the leader of the bunch, you know him well He's finally back to kick some tail His coconut gun can fire in spurts If he shoots ya, it's gonna hurt! He's bigger, faster, and stronger too He's the first member of the DK crew! Huh! Chorus DK Donkey Kong! DK Donkey Kong is here! Trivia * Michael is the most powerful character in The Joseph Saga. * He's also a cunt. * Michael is the only person able to defeat Sam in SMASH, by rapidly DDosing his wifi in order to win while using Olimar. * Michael and Dylan are actually the same person probably * Michael is secretly a trap. * Michael likes to use the Jewish name for pennies. Alas, Dylan doesn't remember, nor does he care enough to remember for the writing of this page.